Paleo Almond Butter and Jelly Bites

Happy Sunday! I hope you’re having a great weekend! Now, let’s all hold hands and think good thoughts for the Broncos today. 

I will cry if they lose. 

I will.

I promised to tell you what happened between the modem and Penelope (#idiothusky) but then I told my husband that I was going to tell you and he was all, “No! Don’t talk about that on your food blog!”

But I’m gonna tell you anyway.

So huskies have super sensitive stomachs. Which I didn’t know until I took her sick self to the doctor about a year ago and the doc told me all about it and then suggested I buy their dog food for $50 a can. But apparently, they all have sensitive stomachs. And they also like to eat things they aren’t supposed to. 

And then they get sick in the middle of the night.

On modems.

It was bad. The worst possible way to wake up in the morning is to husky mess everywhere and no internet. 

How is this my life?

But anyway, the internet is working again and the internet man didn’t even ask me what happened to it. Thankfully. 

And about these Almond Butter and Jelly Bites…

I’m trying really hard to snack on nuts and fruit instead of macarons and candy but let’s be real, a handful of raw almonds is just not very appealing. So I made these which takes those raw almonds and mixes them with dates and dried apricots and a little almond butter.

(As a side note, can we talk about how good dates and almond butter are together? Especially if you get the good Justin’s Maple Almond Butter? I put a tablespoon on top of a pitted date and omg, best healthy snack ever.)

They taste like a PB&J! And I know that sounds stupid since they’re made with almond butter but seriously, like a PB&J!

So good. Even my husband liked them and he is not into this kind of thing typically. I’ll definitely be keeping these on hand – they’re the perfect size for a pre-workout snack! And yes, they are Paleo! 

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So. 

These are really ugly. 

I’m sorry.

Let’s not talk about it though. 

I feel like it’s been years since I talked to you guys. We survived our roadtrip. I did contract anthrax* at a Dairy Queen in Mexico on the way down and am still coughing up my lungs all day, every day but it was a good trip and we got to spend lots of time with family and friends and ALL THE DOGGIES

And guess what, guys. I only gained 5 pounds. Which is amazing considering I ate this, this, this, this, a whole box of these, and had more drinks than I can count on all my fingers and toes.

Oh, vacation.

PLUS, I lost 7 pounds in preparation of the vacay. Because that’s how my brain works. So technically, I’m still down 2 pounds. Boom.

The husband and I decided to go Paleo for the month to kind of detox from vacation and Christmas and all the french fries we had while driving 20 hours each way. But he’s already caught me sneaking Doritos. 

So we’ll see how that works out. 

I secretly really dig Paleo baked goods which isn’t something you hear often. I looooove the texture of coconut flour and the almost grittiness of almond flour which I know sounds disgusting but I love it. My husband always says things like, “Things are pretty good. For Paleo.” while I’m busy shoveling 6 of whatever it is down my throat. I don’t know why I love them, I just do.

These are made with coconut flour and like I said, I know they’re hideous. That’s just what happens with Paleo muffins sometimes. Especially if you live at 6000 feet above sea level. 

And anyway, it’s what’s inside that counts, right?

They’re really good and didn’t last 24 hours in my house. And yes, I use butter in my Paleo cooking most of the time. Partly because it has less calories than coconut oil and partly because I truly believe that if a caveman stumbled upon a block of Kerrygold butter, he’d go for it. 

*It may actually just be a cold. The jury’s still out.

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I am forever looking for new breakfast ideas for myself. I’m not really into typical breakfast foods first thing in the morning (but I love a cinnamon roll in the afternoon or pancakes for dinner) and a girl can only have so many breakfast salads before she starts to lose it.

This Breakfast Stuffed Acorn Squash is my new favorite and I’m going through withdrawals right now because Trader Joe’s was out of acorn squash the other day and I’m refusing to go to any other grocery stores until the excitement of TJ’s wears off.

Life is rough.

And I know you think I’m nuts and you think squash for breakfast is a horrible idea. But trust me, this is so good. It’s just cooked acorn squash with turkey breakfast sausage, onion, garlic, and an egg on top. And then when you’re ready to eat you mash it all together and dump a ton of sriracha on top and you’ve got a healthy, delicious breakfast that’s full of protein and good carbs. Plus, it’s just fun to eat straight out of a squash!

I prepped this one night while binge watching Once Upon a Time (which I always thought sounded super lame but I’m addicted) and it was so nice to wake up the next couple of mornings and not have to worry about breakfast. I just popped a half in the microwave and sat down to eat!

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I swear this isn’t like all those times I Instagrammed a rice cake with M&Ms on top or Doritos and wine and hashtagged it paleo.

This is really paleo. And really delicious.

This recipe comes from Paleo Ice Cream: 75 Recipes for Rich and Creamy Homemade Scoops and Treats which is the newest addition to my cookbook collection. The book has basically every ice cream variety you could ever want, but Paleo-ized.

I mean, Maple Bacon Chocolate Ice Cream.

Yeah.

I, of course, am obsessed with all things fall right now (BECAUSE OMG SNOW IS COMING) so I had to give the Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream a try.

And I’m totally breaking my October 1st = Pumpkin Day rule but whatever. I had to share this with you.

I’m not gonna lie to you, I had serious doubts about the whole paleo ice cream thing. Paleo treats are really nice to have when you’re strict paleo but let’s be real, a paleo muffin tastes nothing like an actual muffin.

If I read your blog and you tell me a paleo biscuit tastes like a Cracker Barrel biscuit, I’m giving you major side eye.

So I worried that paleo ice cream would be nothing like real ice cream.

But basically, this ice cream is coconut milk (the canned stuff, not the refrigerated stuff), xanthan gum is optional but I definitely recommend it for the texture, honey as the sweetener, and some pumpkin.

(I totally saw xanthan gum at Walmart yesterday so you should be able to find it anywhere.)

It tastes like ice cream. Like pumpkin ice cream!

I did have to let it defrost for a few minutes before scooping but after that, it had nearly the exact texture of regular ol’ ice cream!

I’ve made paleo cookies, pizza, muffins, bread, etc, etc, etc and this paleo ice cream is the only thing that’s actually been super close to it’s non-paleo counterpart.

You should definitely check out Paleo Ice Cream if you’re looking for recipes like Oregano Ice Cream, Double Chocolate Candy Bar Ice Cream, or Toasted Almond Frozen Custard!

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Meatballs are one of the few things all 3 of my kids will eat without complaint. And this recipe is proof that I can literally put anything in meatballs and they will eat them.

As I was shredded the zucchini for these, my 4 year old walked into the kitchen and said “Eww, I don’t like zucchini!”

Umm… guess who asked for more meatballs not once but twice!

If we’re being technical here, these aren’t really Thai meatballs. Honestly, I’m not even sure Thai meatballs are a thing. I think Thai-Inspired would be a better title but…

Yeah.

So these are pork meatballs with a little ground turkey which I love because I love love love the flavor of pork but not necessarily the fat/calories so I feel like I can eat more if I mix in some super lean ground turkey. The meatballs have lots of shredded zucchini and carrots mixed in with some curry powder, fresh ginger, garlic, all kinds of good stuff. And then you cover them with a peanut sauce before baking!

Except I don’t eat peanut butter because I do try to eat paleo when I’m not drinking wine and eating my weight in Qdoba 3-cheese nachos so I used almond butter in this “peanut” sauce. You could totally use peanut or even sunbutter if you prefer the taste of those!

Anyway, the sauce is SO good. I could drink it! Coconut milk, almond butter, and curry powder just make the yummiest combination.

These are super simple and I anticipate making these often in the coming months.

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