Y’all. I think something’s wrong with my brain.

I’ve had this cold literally since the day after my kids went back to school. It’s one of those that gets better but not all the way better and then it gets worse, then better, then worse. So after 3 weeks of this, I think it’s really messing with my brain.

I cannot do anything.

Yesterday I went out to the car and found a grocery bag from Monday.

It had bacon in it. And avocados.

Yummy.

I showed up to the wrong field last night for the kid’s football game.

I couldn’t remember how to open the car’s hood when I got searched at the gate a few days ago.

I just feel like I am so out of it.

Just thought I better warn you guys in case I start posting strange recipes or something. Stranger than Totchos, of course.

So Totchos are tater tots dressed up like nachos. These have cheese and bacon and avocado and other fun things that I had to pick off for my kids. I’m obsessed. They’re like loaded fries but better because duh, tater tots are better than fries.

Definite football food! The best way to serve them is in a bowl with ranch dressing drizzled over everything. And then you use a fork to eat them so you can make sure you get a jalapeño in every bite. I mean a little of everything in every bite. #jalapeñoobsessed

Click for the full recipe

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I swear this isn’t like all those times I Instagrammed a rice cake with M&Ms on top or Doritos and wine and hashtagged it paleo.

This is really paleo. And really delicious.

This recipe comes from Paleo Ice Cream: 75 Recipes for Rich and Creamy Homemade Scoops and Treats which is the newest addition to my cookbook collection. The book has basically every ice cream variety you could ever want, but Paleo-ized.

I mean, Maple Bacon Chocolate Ice Cream.

Yeah.

I, of course, am obsessed with all things fall right now (BECAUSE OMG SNOW IS COMING) so I had to give the Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream a try.

And I’m totally breaking my October 1st = Pumpkin Day rule but whatever. I had to share this with you.

I’m not gonna lie to you, I had serious doubts about the whole paleo ice cream thing. Paleo treats are really nice to have when you’re strict paleo but let’s be real, a paleo muffin tastes nothing like an actual muffin.

If I read your blog and you tell me a paleo biscuit tastes like a Cracker Barrel biscuit, I’m giving you major side eye.

So I worried that paleo ice cream would be nothing like real ice cream.

But basically, this ice cream is coconut milk (the canned stuff, not the refrigerated stuff), xanthan gum is optional but I definitely recommend it for the texture, honey as the sweetener, and some pumpkin.

(I totally saw xanthan gum at Walmart yesterday so you should be able to find it anywhere.)

It tastes like ice cream. Like pumpkin ice cream!

I did have to let it defrost for a few minutes before scooping but after that, it had nearly the exact texture of regular ol’ ice cream!

I’ve made paleo cookies, pizza, muffins, bread, etc, etc, etc and this paleo ice cream is the only thing that’s actually been super close to it’s non-paleo counterpart.

You should definitely check out Paleo Ice Cream if you’re looking for recipes like Oregano Ice Cream, Double Chocolate Candy Bar Ice Cream, or Toasted Almond Frozen Custard!

Click for the full recipe

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Football is so close I can taste it! (Eww?)

I hope you have your kickoff party menu planned. If not, you should make this. Because there is nothing better than chips and queso.

I’ve been craving Mexican food like mad but really, what’s new? I’ve already told my husband that the day he gets home, we’re going to our favorite Mexican restaurant. I just can’t bring myself to go there without him. Plus, if he’s not there, I can’t order a margarita and what’s the point of going for Mexican if I can’t get a margarita?

And I know you’re all “Why don’t you just go to Chipotle?”

Because Chipotle doesn’t have queso.

Duh.

So I’ve been making this queso blanco and then I have this whole thing that I do. I lay out chips in a single layer on a plate and put a spoonful of queso on each chip and then I top each one with a pickled jalapeño. And then I eat them with a glass of wine over Sonic ice. It’s my nightly routine.

Some people’s nightly routines consist of taking their makeup off and painting their nails. I eat chips and queso in bed at 1 am.

It is what it is.

This queso blanco really does taste like the stuff you’d find at your fave Mexican place. And it’s even better because you can adjust the heat to your liking. It’s also super simple to make and I imagine you could put it in a small slow cooker on the warm setting to keep it warm all day.

Click for the full recipe

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Delicious Bacon and Pineapple Fried Rice featuring Success® Boil-in-Bag Basmati Rice. 

Second post the week, second recipe that starts with “Bacon and…”

I like bacon.

I’m also weirdly into pineapple lately. Remember how early in the summer I was spending $7 bucks 3 times a week on a pound of pre-cut mango? That’s what’s happening with pineapple right now. Except, thankfully, pineapple is a lot cheaper than the mango.

One day I’ll learn to cut fruit. Maybe.

So I wanted to combine my two current favorite foods into another of my favorite foods: fried rice. I know, fried rice with bacon and pineapple? It sounds weird but I dig it.

Before you click away and unsubscribe and all that, it’s not really like the Chinese takeout rice you’re used to. Yes, it is still fried rice but it’s fried in bacon fat and it has no egg in it. Plus, I used Basmati rice which is my favorite kind of rice. It’ slightly nutty and the grains don’t get clumpy on you when they cook. They stay separate and fluffy, which is how I like my rice.

You guys know that rice has been the bane of my existence since we moved to Colorado. I don’t know if it’s the altitude or my stove or what but I have not successfully made a batch of rice since moving here over 3 years ago. Like, it’s so bad that I’ve had to throw out pans. Because ugggghhhh, burnt rice on the bottom of the pan is the worst.

I’ve started using the Success®  Boil-in-Bag Basmati Rice. I love it because it is fool-proof. I’m not even kidding. The bags come pre-portioned in a BPA-free bag so it’s no mess, no measuring and it’s ready in 10 minutes. You literally stick the entire bag in water, bring it to a boil, and remove the entire bag 10 minutes later.

So for this recipe, I made the rice one night, took the entire bag and put it in the fridge overnight. (Fried rice just works better with cold rice.) The next day, the rice was ready to be fried and covered in bacon, still in it’s little bag. No dirty bowls, nothing.

I’m obsessed.

Have you tried the Success® Boil-in-Bag Basmati Rice? 

Click for the full recipe

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Happy Monday!

I hope you had a fabulous weekend. Mine went by waaaaaay too fast but I’m lucky that we don’t have preschool today which means that technically I can stay in sweats all day and skip makeup. So yay!

I feel like I did nothing all weekend. Like, I even skipped yesterday’s post because I was feeling so lazy. Plus we were about halfway through the zoo on Saturday before I realized I didn’t have anything made and photographed and at that point, it was a lost cause.

Yesterday I bribed my children with gumballs to get them to go thrifting with me. We found one beautimous green Pyrex but here’s the problem. Now, I need the lid that came with it. Which is going to cost me at least $16 on Ebay after shipping. So, a $4 dish with a $16 lid. Makes perfect sense.

Then I watched all 7 episodes of Graceland on my DVR. It’s one of those shows that I literally say “Ugggghhhh” when I realize it’s the only thing I have left but after about 20 minutes of the first episode, I am INTO IT and can’t walk away until I watch every episode.

During my Agent Briggs (let’s be real, he’s the only reason most of us are watching Graceland) marathon yesterday, I had a crazy craving for cornbread. I’m telling you, the carb craving is real lately.

So I made this awesome Bacon and Pepper Jack Cornbread. Typically I go for a sweet cornbread with nothing added in but this one was exactly what I was craving. It’s spicy from the pepper jack and just a little sweet from the honey. And bacon makes everything better!

Of course, you have to smear it with butter and put more honey on top! That’s the only way to eat cornbread.

Click for the full recipe

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